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A woman raised up in a Christian home… a woman who had been good and faithful, who obeyed and served God… but was not exempted to go through life’s trials. 

I had very “smooth” (easy and uncomplicated) life before. Some of my friends envied me because I didn’t have any problem at all.  I have a good family, good friends, a good job (though not that stable) and a special someone. I told them those were the fruits of serving God. I was a worship leader, a Sunday School teacher and a teen’s cell group leader. I was the “apple of the eye” in our church and a role model for young people.  I was very active in church until I was confronted by a big spiritual problem in our church, we were divided because of doctrinal issue. My family decided to leave and formed a new reformed church.  That was one of the biggest struggle and the most difficult problem I had to deal with. I didn’t want to leave my church where I served God since my childhood years.   

That was so hard, and it was probably one of the reasons why I decided to leave my hometown and go abroad.  In 2006, I went to work in Hongkong. This was going to be my stepping stone as it was my ex-boyfriend’s plan for us to be together in Canada. While I was in Hongkong, I had a very tough time.  My employer was very rude to me. Everyday was like hell but thank God for the patience and understanding that He gave me during this challenging period I had to go through.  

I was still struggling spiritually and being in trouble with my employer when I came to know that my boyfriend had given me up.  We had been in a relationship for almost 4 years. It was his plan why I worked in Hongkong, and yet all of a sudden that relationship ended.  “What was that?” I thought. Three trials in a row? I never had been tested by God for 23 years and at that time, that was a lot! But I thought of Romans 8:28 “All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose”.

After a few months another guy, my church mate and my former suitor, “re-appeared” into my life when he came to know that I broke up with my boyfriend.  I agreed to be his girlfriend even if we were far apart, he was in the Philippines and I was in Hongkong and then in Canada. I was so sure he was the one that the Lord has intended for me because I prayed about it from the very beginning and he did, too.  After 6 months, he proposed to me (for us to get married).  Yes, everything had been planned for our wedding for May of 2009, every single detail.  Both my family and his knew about it.  I was so excited, soooo much excited and was thinking that after the rain, here was the rainbow.  My friends said I was really blessed.  I fulfilled my dream to get here in Canada and had a very loving partner. That was until last May when all my excitement ended.  My fiancé left me…  

Yes, none of us knows what will happen next!  Even the surest thing we know, even how confident we are, the things that we thought won’t end and will last forever, will, at the blink of an eye, end.  So disappointing, and so hurting… Tears falling, mind so confused, heart breaking into pieces - the whole of self tearing apart…feeling abandoned and alone. But to tell everyone what I felt?  Though I was hurting, I still had inner peace, I had tranquility that brings joy into my heart.

From the very beginning, as I was going through this experience, I commended everything to the Great Hand, to the Author of my life, our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.  Along the way He had imparted me the reasons why unexpected things happened.  I am a clay being molded by the Potter. I am a piece of gold being tested in fire.    He opened my eyes to see the great and wonderful plans that He has for me.  Wonderful! Marvellous! Awesome! I never thought that would be. God showed me great opportunities after forgiving and letting go of someone whom I don’t deserve to be with, that once I thought would be my forever… Too sad and too hurting but it’s just the way it is.  Sometimes our plans and desires do not unfold the way we want but God knows what is best for us. He sure has the knowledge of what is the best for all His children. And still I would say “All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose”.  

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